Coming into 2012, you may have some resolutions, be determined to make some personal changes, start the new year with a different energy and mindset. My advice to you is don’t bother unless you are prepared to come over all emotional.
People often ask me how I got into coaching and I often reply “kicking and screaming”. Well, I am a Brit no less and it’s understood, we don’t do touchy feely or personal development and, God forbid, show our emotions.
We get on with things, use our stiff upper lip and pull ourselves up by the boot straps - whatever that means.
For me, all this changed when I heard Julio Olalla, founder of the Newfield Network, make this remark: Emotions are a pre-disposition for action. What might appear to be a fairly harmless statement was, for me, a wake up call.
What he was saying was this. Our emotions determine what actions are available to us, influence how we see situations and determine what we believe is and isn’t possible.
Big stuff this.
If we live from ambition we create a different reality to living from resignation. If we live from love, we build very different relationships than living from fear. From a coaching perspective, no emotion is good or bad. It is simply a question of whether an emotion serves us or not, is it allowing us to get the results we’re looking for.
So understanding what our emotions are telling us and what is available from different emotions is fundamental. Yet this intelligence is overlooked, if looked at at all.
Personally, I have been amazed by my inability to name or describe my feelings, understand subtle emotional differences, or simply shift from one to another. And I noticed this in my coachees. “How are you feeling today” normally solicits “Good”.
How does all this speak to you? Are you aware of how your emotions impact your decisions, and which emotions you need to achieve what you want in 2012? Peace? ambition? determination? Resentment? Anger? What emotion do you need to re-build a relationship? What emotion(s) do you need to hit some tough financial targets?
Something practical
For those who would like to explore a little more, can I suggest the following exercise in awareness.
Pick a situation where you are not getting the result you want - ie how you are getting the kids to school, a difficult personal or professional relationship, managing meetings, getting things done.
See if you can identify the emotion(s) that are arising in that situation - is there a pattern before, during and after?
Now explore what happens when you bring the opposite emotion. ie if you are always stressed with the prospect of the school run, what would it take to consciously come from a place of calm, how might you access a calm state and what difference does this make?
Have a play - this is simple in theory, but 10,000 hours in practice.
Something going on.
As part of our coaching approach, we believe that the results you achieve in your life largely depend on how you are being - in language, emotions and body.
This is why we use challenges as a framework for our coaching. The preparation and the challenge gives you an extraordinary opportunity to see and explore your emotional make-up and how this make-up impacts your behaviour and ability. You can quickly see which emotions are useful when; which ones you default to, which ones are difficult to access?
This is tapping into a whole new intelligence.
If you would like to talk some more about how one of our programmes might work for you, please feel free to call me directly on +33 671184827 or send me an email at peter@becauseitsthere.net.Take care and may your 2012 be highly emotional - in an intelligent way.
