Last week, my son, George, was upset and angry. Another boy did not want to play with him. George sat there, shoulders hunched, arms crossed. His mother explained that he had his own friends. George got up, walked straight to the boy and said “I want to be your friend and play with you”. This time the boy noticed George and kindly said he had to go but as he left, he turned around, smiled and waved. Somewhere George had learnt how to express his needs.
For five years, we have run challenge programmes for an amazing array of people and, each and every time, we all learn the same thing over and over again – if I am to meet the needs of others, in a professional or personal capacity, I need to meet my own needs first.
We intuitively know this and yet we work unsustainable hours, miss lunch, forgo exercise, collapse social engagements into shorter slots; we do all this in the name of others; to look after our family, friends, work; or some cause or calling; but what happened to us; who is looking after us? On outdoor challenges, if you don’t look after yourself, you are no good to anyone; worse, you are a liability.
So what does looking after yourself mean? We have come to see it as a three step process – understanding, prioritizing and then pursuing your needs. In principle, it sounds easy, in practice, it is difficult. It appears that we live, and have lived for many years, in a value set that puts the needs of others before our own.
However, having watched George the other day, perhaps this is changing.
If anyone is interested in learning more about this subject, you can find more details at http://www.becauseitsthere.net/programmes/capacity_workshops.phtml
Are you prepared to put yourself first? Please write or email back with any comments. We would love to hear your opinions on the subject, or experiences that support or negate our beliefs.
